i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
