So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
