Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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