I heard we made out
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
