how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
