Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
