you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
