R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
