Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
