gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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