I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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