this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
