God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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