It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize