you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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