I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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