I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize