chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
