I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
