Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
