Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
