Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
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