Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
