Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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