it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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