i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
