if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
