Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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