New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
