Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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