she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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