doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
