I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
