"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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