Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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