I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
