Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
