Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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