I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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