i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize