used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
