Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
