Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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