unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize