you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
