Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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