I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
