I think i peed on brittanys purse
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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