I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
