You left your underwear on the fireplace
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
