i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
