She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
