I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
