ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
