Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
